I seriously wonder what or how these so called super conserve Catholic bloggy mommies would react at the following.
Let’s let ‘er rip. Here’s the list. Let them take this test. You score 15 points for everything you don’t react to while you are waiting. Being honest means you get a serious 200 points. Perfect score is 200 points for being honest and points for every single thing that I have here.
I’ll call this a Test of Marriage Maturity to see if you can do it better than me.
1. It is dinnertime. No credit cards allowed, period. Your funds are very limited to about $10 bucks for dinner. This is for two people. This is enough for either a deli chicken at Publix with all the fixins or two Publix brand pizzas. No soda or Gatorade but water from the watercooler. If you can do this or making a face or filing for divorce or being snarky, ADD 15 POINTS.
2. You have no lawn mower in the house you are inheriting and living in. The grass is tall in front and in back. Rental is $20 at the local ACE hardware. You have budgeted just for that and the $5 in gas. Renting a trimmer is another $25 with the mower per day. Grass grows fast in Florida , but it rains every other day, making it non possible to mow. When it does dry out, you get a case you have to mail out that costs just as much in postage as the rental budget for the mower that must be done or the city code enforcement will fine you $200 per day for not having your yard mowed. If you can make NEGIOTIATING phone calls to both client and the code office and not nag your spouse, you get 15 POINTS. If not you are minus 30 points.
2B. It is week six of this estate nightmare and the yard still needs to be mowed. Do you go to your savings account and pull out the last $45 out of there and rent the equipment without swiping a credit card? If you can or do, you get a BONUS 50 POINTS. Catch: You must mow all of it because your spouse has a heart condition and cannot work strenuously in the heat of the 90 deg day.
3. You move in and find that the in laws do not have a working microwave oven. You just sold yours in a moving event, knowing that theirs would be yours. If you can pull a full 1960s and early 1970s and be off the nuker grid for about 8 weeks until you can save for a new one, add 15 POINTS. If you can do this HONESTLY without making a snarky remark and nagging your spouse or calling your gossip friends to vent, add another 30 points. Add another 5 POINTS IF YOU CAN AT least try and fix the nuker.
4. You have a backyard pool that needs $35 in chlorine every week. If it rains, it needs more — way more. If you can go with your spouse to the pool store without making any comments, you get an extra 20 points. Take off 40 points if you make a face. Add 20 points if you help him or her get the soooo heavy chlorine jugs into and out of the car and into the backyard without bitching whining or breathing a moan that it is too heavy. No excuses.
5. There is too much of your in-laws stuff in the house. It is not a hoarding house, but there is too much clutter in the kitchen and the mop broke because the Beagle chewed on the mop. Add double the 15 points if you can either throw out the excess stuff or try to sell it in a garage sale that you are going to continuously have for several times a week. Total possible to add = 15 points
6. ALFIE THE bEAGLE craps on YOUR rug every other night. He is confused after moving into the new house. You now live in your in-laws house. The rug is golden and new in the living room. There are three dining room tables: your old short one, your mother -in -law’s new one, and the brand new one you bought at Ikea late last year. The dog has to be put into a schedule and crated every night. He is doing okay, but he has at least three accidents a week. Add 40 POINTS IF YOU CAN TAKE HIM OUT FOR A walk, clean up after him with the carpet scrubber/cleaner you bought two years ago. Add 20 points if you don’t complain about there being limited rug solution for the machine at midnight when you must do this.
7. There is no hot water. The hot water heater ALMOST STARTED A serious fire. It is broken. You go to turn the circuit breaker on and you see smoke coming from the top of it. If you can rush back to the breaker on the other side of the garage and turn it off, then run to the fire extinguisher to spray the top of IT, give yourself 40 points. IF you can do this without calling the fire department because you TOOK CARE OF BUSINESS AND didn’t whine about or nag or yell yourself give youself another 50 points. If you didn’t minus or take off those points.
8. There is no hot water. If you can go at least one week without bitching or whining or moaning at your spouse to fix IT, GIVE YOURSELF 15 POINTS.
9. The brand new 1800 front load washer and dryer is now in a sticky hot 90 degree non air conditioned garage. You had to throw out most of the hangers when you moved because there was no room for them in the truck or the car. So to do the laundry.
10. The rug in the room of the house you inherited is crap. You pulled it up because you had coffee and didn’t want to look at it. However, while you are waiting for the renovation money, the master bedroom is unusable and smells like smoke. You now both sleep in another bedroom because of it. If you can go a WHOLE SUMMER WITHOUT BITCHING OR MOANING for your big strong or useless spouse to fix IT, GIVE YOURSELF 100 POINTS. IF you cannot you loose 200 points.
How did you do? Let me know and be honest. I had trouble with the water heater episode. See? I admit it.